Causes of Depression

by | Jun 12, 2022 | Depression Help

What Causes Depression?

Depression is a complex disease. No one knows exactly what causes it, but it can happen for a variety of reasons. Some people have depression during a serious medical illness. Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one. Still others have a family history of depression. Those who do may have depression and feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for no known reason.

Lots of things can increase the chance of depression, including the following:

  • Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.
  • People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression. That can be made worse by other factors, such as living alone and having a lack of social support.
  • Some drugs, such as isotretinoin (used to treat acne), the antiviral drug interferon-alpha, and corticosteroids, can increase your risk of depression.
  • Depression in someone who has the biological vulnerability to it may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
  • Sadness or grief after the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can increase the risk of depression.
  • While sex is not a cause, women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed. No one’s sure why. The hormonal changes that women go through at different times of their lives may play a role.
  • A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is a complex trait, meaning there are probably many different genes that each exert small effects, rather than a single gene that contributes to disease risk. The genetics of depression, like most psychiatric disorders, are not as simple or straightforward as in purely genetic diseases such as Huntington’s chorea or cystic fibrosis.
  • Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring. However, the syndrome of clinical depression is never just a “normal” response to stressful life events.
  • Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can contribute to the risk of developing clinical depression.
  • Sometimes, depression happens along with a major illness or may be triggered by another medical condition.
  • Nearly 30% of people with substance misuse problems also have major or clinical depression. Even if drugs or alcohol temporarily make you feel better, they ultimately will aggravate depression.

We know that depression can sometimes run in families. This suggests that there’s at least a partial genetic link to depression. Children, siblings, and parents of people with severe depression are somewhat more likely to have depression than are members of the general population. Multiple genes interacting with one another in special ways probably contribute to the various types of “inherited” depression. Yet despite the evidence of a family link to depression, it is unlikely that there is a single “depression” gene, but rather, many genes that each contribute small effects toward depression when they interact with the environment.

Depression often begins in the teens, 20s or 30s, but it can happen at any age. More women than men are diagnosed with depression, but this may be due in part because women are more likely to seek treatment.

Factors that seem to increase the risk of developing or triggering depression include:

  • Certain personality traits, such as low self-esteem and being too dependent, self-critical or pessimistic
  • Traumatic or stressful events, such as physical or sexual abuse, the death or loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, or financial problems
  • Blood relatives with a history of depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism or suicide
  • Being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or having variations in the development of genital organs that aren’t clearly male or female (intersex) in an unsupportive situation
  • History of other mental health disorders, such as anxiety disorder, eating disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Abuse of alcohol or recreational drugs
  • Serious or chronic illness, including cancer, stroke, chronic pain or heart disease
  • Certain medications, such as some high blood pressure medications or sleeping pills (talk to your doctor before stopping any medication)

Depression is not a normal part of growing older, and it should never be taken lightly. Unfortunately, depression often goes undiagnosed and untreated in older adults, and they may feel reluctant to seek help. Symptoms of depression may be different or less obvious in older adults, such as:

  • Memory difficulties or personality changes
  • Physical aches or pain
  • Fatigue, loss of appetite, sleep problems or loss of interest in sex — not caused by a medical condition or medication
  • Often wanting to stay at home, rather than going out to socialize or doing new things
  • Suicidal thinking or feelings, especially in older men

Sources: Mayo Clinic, Web MD, Harvard Medical School

4 Ways Not to React To Someone With Depression or Crisis – Healthier Alternatives

by | Feb 24, 2022 | Depression Help

Written by Sky Lea Ross

Through my experiences as a mental health professional, what I hear from my clients as well as within my own conversations, as a person who lives with episodic depression, it has come to my attention that many people don’t know how to provide comfort or respond appropriately in times of need. Instead of listening to what’s being said & taking the time necessary to digest it, reflect on it, then proceed with a constructive response, people jump to conclusions & say the first thing that comes to mind. Or, in other words, they react. But, many times, this can be unhelpful, or possibly even detrimental &/or destructive to the person that is in distress. See, when you react, there is no tact. In order to respond, you must think beyond the initial reaction.

Therefore, to try & resolve this common dilemma, I thought I’d come up with a list of reaction pitfalls to avoid & healthy ways of responding. I am inspired to create such a list by communication theorists, such as Carl Rogers, the creator of Client-Centered Therapy (Search for “Unconditional Positive Regard” “Empathic Attunement,” & “Acceptance.”), psychologist & couples counselor Gary Chapman, who authored The Five Love Languages, & Virginia Satir, who identified four unhealthy forms of communication (i.e. Blaming, Placating, Computing, & Distracting) as well as hypothesized a solution, A.K.A. “Leveling.” For more information on her studies & ideas, you can check out her book The New Peoplemaking. Mine are very similar to hers, but rather, they’re situational, and I break them down into specific categories with concise details & examples.

Yes, personally, I am educated and trained as a Psychotherapist. But these suggestions are simple and can help any layperson communicate more empathically and effectively. Without further ado, here are the 4 reactions to avoid:

1. Dismissing/Minimizing

This happens all of the time. Someone comes to you upset or with a problem, & the first thing you say is “Could be worse.” Or, “It’s not even that bad.” One step further, you bring up a story that happened to you or someone you know & compare/contrast. This is not helpful. It just makes the person feel bad for mentioning what they’re going through, negates their problem, & makes it look as if they’re complaining & whining. People, especially those of us who suffer from depression, want to feel heard & understood. Being dismissive or minimizing the problem makes it seem as if it doesn’t matter, which only makes us feel more alone & like a burden to others.

Another way of being dismissive is being too cheerful or overly optimistic. Saying things like “Just think positive!” Or, “Look at the bright side!” Toxic positivity is a thing.

Or, perhaps trying to cheer the person up by making a ton of jokes or changing the subject. If a person is feeling down, this will only make them feel like you can’t see where they’re coming from or are too uncomfortable yourself to discuss their sorrows. Being superficially happy is not a solution. Being realistic & supportive is.

2. Gaslighting

The definition of “gaslighting” is when you make someone feel crazy by discrediting them & making them doubt themselves. The way this is most often done to depressed individuals is when they hear phrases like, “It’s all in your head!” “You’re choosing to feel this way!” “You’re making this up!” “There’s nothing wrong!” “Stop being so negative!” “Stop pitying yourself!” “Stop feeling sorry for yourself!” A person who is depressed or facing a crisis is not choosing to! Depression is a mental health condition, a chemical imbalance in the brain, a disease just like Diabetes or Asthma & should be recognized as such. People who face depression already feel crazy! They usually have excessive guilt & shame, feel hopeless &/or helpless, have low self-esteem, feel like a burden to everyone they know, have little or no motivation, lose pleasure &/or interest in activities they once enjoyed, experience weight loss or gain as well as insomnia or hypersomnia (not sleeping much/at all vs. sleeping too much,) feel incredible loneliness or start to isolate, and may be beginning to see life as not worth living because this exhaustion & pain becomes unbearable! None of this is a choice, but it is all a part of the disorder. These are the symptoms, & making comments like these is not only insensitive but emotionally abusive & neglectful.

To top that off, making statements like “You’re being overdramatic!” or “You’re such a crybaby!” are cruel & can make things worse. I cannot emphasize the importance of this enough. Do not gaslight. You may think you’re giving them “tough love,” a “reality check” or snapping them out of their funk, but this type of language is incredibly inconsiderate & only does more harm than good.

3. Playing “Devil’s Advocate” or Challenging

This, at first, can be done with the good intention of changing a person’s perspective or helping them to see more clearly. But if done carelessly or with persistence, it can become argumentative & damaging. For instance, say someone tells you about a friend that they feel slighted them or betrayed them. After you listen to their story, you start relating to & defending their friend’s actions. Sure, maybe you think their friend didn’t do anything wrong or malicious. That’s fine, & you can express that, maybe offer some clarity. But if you go out of your way to analyze the story & over-identify with their friend, you’re now taking sides & undermining their experience, making them feel like their point of view is insignificant or invalid. They came to you & told you the story because they were hurt & searching for support, not for you to overlook their take & ignore their feelings.

The only time I really see this as being helpful is if someone is thinking irrationally or delusionally. Otherwise, it’s unnecessary.

4. Giving Unsolicated Advice

This is one of the most common ones & I really dislike it. Humans, naturally, are fixers. When someone comes to us with a problem, it can be our first instinct to solve it. But giving advice when it isn’t requested can be rude, especially if you’re not well informed, qualified, or familiar with the person’s situation.

Very often, those of us who are feeling crappy just want to vent & release our frustrations. We don’t always need help, just a listening ear to hear us out. If we ask for it, give the best advice & guidance you can! But if not, don’t assume we need it & can’t figure things out on our own. Perhaps you’re trying to be helpful, but sometimes it’s just insulting & not useful. Plus, if we’re stuck inside of our minds all of the time, we’ve probably thought of all possible scenarios & decisions we could make & forged a plan.

Healthier Alternatives

Validate

As humans, we all seek validation. We want to feel like others hear & understand us. We want comfort & consolation. Instead of resorting to the reactions above, try saying things like, “I’m really sorry you went through that.” “That must have been tough.” “Gosh, that sounds stressful.” “Wow, that’s harsh.” “You’ve been through a lot.” Responses like this mirror feelings & show that you’ve been listening, you really do care, & you’re acknowledging or imagining what they’ve been through.

Relate

Another basic human need we have is for empathy & compassion. We want to feel like others can walk in our shoes & empathize with our struggles. We want to feel like others can relate to & connect with us. If someone tells you about how a recent breakup has devastated them, this is an opportune time to tell them about a devastating breakup you had. Use your lived experience & wisdom to help them through their hard time, to show them they’re not alone, & that they can recover. (To improve your skills in validating & relating, consider furthering your knowledge by doing research on “active listening” & “empathic responding.”)

Reframe

This can take more skill, but those who are depressed tend to look at life through a negative lens. Help restore the clarity of their lens. If they make a statement like, “I’m a failure,” rephrase it in a more realistic way. “No, you had a setback. But it’s a lesson learned, & now you can try again.” Or, “No, you struggled to get the results you wanted. But that doesn’t define you.” You can also complement them by reinforcing their strengths, skills, & accomplishments. Maybe they say something like, “I’m ugly, no one will ever want me.” And you can assure them how beautiful they are or mention how you know others admire them.

Have a Sense of Humor

If you’re not being insensitive by changing the subject, but making a horrible situation hilarious, that can definitely be a great way of lightening the mood! But really assess the needs of who you’re talking to & identify their communication style. Do they like to laugh things off? Or would they prefer you be serious & keep it real with them? Only YOU will know based on previous conversations. (Or you can always ask. Everyone has different needs at different times.)

Encourge and Instill a Sense of Hope

As previously explained, dealing with depression can make one hopeless. Their future may seem bleak to them, their view of the world may be shrouded in darkness. But you can help them see the light. We all need reassurance. Let them know things will be alright and turn out okay. Let them know that you are there for them & will support them every step of the way. Help them keep the faith alive, and remind them that there are resources out there for them if ever needed. Mental health services (i.e. therapy, psychiatry) & support groups are available (i.e. DBSA, NAMI, etc.) & you can refer them to these if they’re interested. If you’re willing, you can even offer to take them or accompany them so they’re not alone & can see your support through your actions rather than your words.

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