How to Find The Right Therapist For You

If you’ve decided it’s time to give therapy a try, finding a therapist that’s right for you is paramount to managing your mental health.  

Your therapist will undoubtedly have an impact on reaching your wellness goals, so it’s important to choose carefully and find a therapist who is a good fit.  

Here are some tactics to try when looking for a therapist. 

Identify your wellness goals 

When you start identifying your wellness goals, focus on pain points that need to be relieved. Then figure out what type of therapist you’d feel comfortable talking to about these pain points. 

Ask yourself what you’re hoping to get out of therapy. Do you just need someone to listen, or are you hoping to gain coping skills? Are you looking for a specific type of therapy, like cognitive behavioral, or family-focused? Learn more about the different styles of therapy. 

It can be helpful to outline your wellness goals and what you think it will take to reach them so you can discuss this with your therapist. 

To get a holistic picture of where you’re at in terms of mental health wellness, try DBSA’s Wellness Wheel or Wellness Tracker

Consider who you would work best with 

You’ll be talking about some heavy topics with your therapist, so it’s important that you feel comfortable with them. 

Some factors to consider when looking for a therapist include:  

Gender: Would you feel most comfortable with a man, woman, or nonbinary person? 

Age: Would you do best with someone older, younger, or around your age? 

Religion: Does it matter to you if the therapist has a particular religious belief system? Would you prefer someone who shares beliefs in line with your own? 

Culture: Especially for historically marginalized groups, it can be comforting to speak with a therapist who shares a similar cultural background.  

If you have specific concerns, come up with interview questions for your potential therapist. Some therapists conduct a consultation phone call before your first appointment where you can ask questions such as: 

  • How much experience do you have working with people who live with [issue you’re seeking treatment for]? 
  • What kinds of treatments have you found effective in resolving [issue you’re seeking treatment for]? 
  • What treatments do you offer? 
  • Can you tell me about your fees? Do you use a sliding-scale (i.e., lower fees for people with lower income)?  

A consultation call will give you an opportunity to assess their warmth, attitude and empathy. 

Starting your search 

If you have insurance, use your provider directory to identify providers in your plan’s network.  

You’ll also need to find out if your plan limits the number of sessions you can attend each year and if using an out-of-network therapist will affect your out-of-pocket costs. 

 You can also consult a reliable online database to find a licensed therapist. 

    Some of the most commonly used online databases include: 

  • American Psychological Association 
  • Association of LGBTQ+ Psychiatrists  
  • National Eating Disorders Association 
  • Anxiety and Depression Association of America 
  • National Center for PTSD 
  • Therapy for Black Girls 
  • Black Mental Health Alliance 
  • The National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association, a nonprofit dedicated to the mental health and well-being of the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities. 
  • WeRNative, which provides Native American youth with tools for holistic health and growth, including mental health resources. 
  • Latinx Therapy 

Your local community might also have resources you can tap into. If you’re a student attending college, your school might provide access to a counseling center.   

If you’re employed, your employee assistance program might offer a list of therapists.   

If you need counseling related to domestic or sexual abuse, you might be able to find group or individual therapy through a local advocacy organization. 

Churches, synagogues, mosques and other places of worship might also keep a list of licensed therapists affiliated with your faith. 

If you’re already a part of a DBSA support group, your peers might have suggestions of therapists or therapy styles they have found most effective. 

Trust your gut  

Finding the right therapist is a personal decision. Human connection is at the heart of effective therapy, and if you’re not feeling a connection, it’s alright to keep looking. When you find a therapist that’s a good fit for you, you’re more likely to get the most out of the experience and work toward reaching your wellness goals.  

Causes of Depression

What Causes Depression?

Depression is a complex disease. No one knows exactly what causes it, but it can happen for a variety of reasons. Some people have depression during a serious medical illness. Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one. Still others have a family history of depression. Those who do may have depression and feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for no known reason.

Lots of things can increase the chance of depression, including the following:

  • Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.
  • People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression. That can be made worse by other factors, such as living alone and having a lack of social support.
  • Some drugs, such as isotretinoin (used to treat acne), the antiviral drug interferon-alpha, and corticosteroids, can increase your risk of depression.
  • Depression in someone who has the biological vulnerability to it may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
  • Sadness or grief after the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can increase the risk of depression.
  • While sex is not a cause, women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed. No one’s sure why. The hormonal changes that women go through at different times of their lives may play a role.
  • A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is a complex trait, meaning there are probably many different genes that each exert small effects, rather than a single gene that contributes to disease risk. The genetics of depression, like most psychiatric disorders, are not as simple or straightforward as in purely genetic diseases such as Huntington’s chorea or cystic fibrosis.
  • Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring. However, the syndrome of clinical depression is never just a “normal” response to stressful life events.
  • Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can contribute to the risk of developing clinical depression.
  • Sometimes, depression happens along with a major illness or may be triggered by another medical condition.
  • Nearly 30% of people with substance misuse problems also have major or clinical depression. Even if drugs or alcohol temporarily make you feel better, they ultimately will aggravate depression.

We know that depression can sometimes run in families. This suggests that there’s at least a partial genetic link to depression. Children, siblings, and parents of people with severe depression are somewhat more likely to have depression than are members of the general population. Multiple genes interacting with one another in special ways probably contribute to the various types of “inherited” depression. Yet despite the evidence of a family link to depression, it is unlikely that there is a single “depression” gene, but rather, many genes that each contribute small effects toward depression when they interact with the environment.

Depression often begins in the teens, 20s or 30s, but it can happen at any age. More women than men are diagnosed with depression, but this may be due in part because women are more likely to seek treatment.

Factors that seem to increase the risk of developing or triggering depression include:

  • Certain personality traits, such as low self-esteem and being too dependent, self-critical or pessimistic
  • Traumatic or stressful events, such as physical or sexual abuse, the death or loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, or financial problems
  • Blood relatives with a history of depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism or suicide
  • Being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or having variations in the development of genital organs that aren’t clearly male or female (intersex) in an unsupportive situation
  • History of other mental health disorders, such as anxiety disorder, eating disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Abuse of alcohol or recreational drugs
  • Serious or chronic illness, including cancer, stroke, chronic pain or heart disease
  • Certain medications, such as some high blood pressure medications or sleeping pills (talk to your doctor before stopping any medication)

Depression is not a normal part of growing older, and it should never be taken lightly. Unfortunately, depression often goes undiagnosed and untreated in older adults, and they may feel reluctant to seek help. Symptoms of depression may be different or less obvious in older adults, such as:

  • Memory difficulties or personality changes
  • Physical aches or pain
  • Fatigue, loss of appetite, sleep problems or loss of interest in sex — not caused by a medical condition or medication
  • Often wanting to stay at home, rather than going out to socialize or doing new things
  • Suicidal thinking or feelings, especially in older men

Sources: Mayo Clinic, Web MD, Harvard Medical School

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